But of course I’m not Warren Buffet - I’m the assistant manager of a Quiznos in Fresno, CA, you can blame my lack of motivation on my...

16 elderly people don’t disagree! I have a survey that says so! Bananas or turnips, who’s to say? Maybe I’ll know more at the banana-turnip

but the local pinheads got twisted the worst of all. Poor pointy headed fuckers. They painted Hollywood with the belief that Allah is great.

I purchased a dozen eggs that had purple spots all over them and when they cooked over an open flame they appeared to resemble

I’m done with this shit! The only thing to do now was to appear on the Jerry Springer Show.

There’s nothing to do about it except pray to the one that relieves the pressure

Was my rash that repulsive? Or was it the BO? Well, anyway, if you can’t have the common decency to even take this car ride with me - Rash..

On an idle Thursday in an overrun pool hall in downtown Little Rock, when Ringo Starr walked in carrying 2 candles, a pitchfork and a...

I was extremely ashamed of myself. But, being a good little boy I simply zipped up my pants and grinned. “Was it good for you?” I asked

the fucking thing to lay flat over my nose but the little bitch had a mind of it’s own. I’d considered plucking it out clean from the root,

This first date had to go smoother than all the previous ones. He’d had enough of the hysterical crying, the public face-slapping...

face -would you hold it against me? Trampoline sex is not the work of the devil like the media portrays it to be. Bikini swimsuits aren’t

but he was desperate to impress her. “Kill them!! Kill them!!” she shrieked, and soon there was the sound of a toilet flushing

he had a strange way with the other boys laughed and said ‘hey you shit-nose little-pea-twod, get ready to let loose

hot damn this is the way to do things this is the place to be which is wherever I am because I am the person to be with, I am perfect!

a man that could disappear and fit into my pants. I had gained about twenty pounds in a week, there was no end in sight. My life as a banana

old movies. Gangster movies always have one in them, an obese hairy Italian woman eating spagetti and red sauce. The salivation on my to

deckle me, dock!” I’m sorry what? What? I am so dreadfully sorry, but you see, I’m a bit crackers, daft, you know?

quality panties!” they cried. Nothing but horseradish and succotash line the inside of our undergarments, we take pride in the fact that 10

him purple. He was so addicted to purple that was all he used from that day forward. Purple was the color and the pain was incredible but no