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3 Stories (wb07_02) (adult)

As I ingested the noxious concoction that the ancient medicine man had prepared I felt my mind expand past all previous limits. “Oh my god I can taste my dinner I had last night, and that was no hand peeled shrimp.” But now I think about it, there was a fingernail in the soup. “This is hardly what I’d call a filling meal,” I proclaimed. But, I also knew that beggars can’t be choosers. So I secretly plotted to lace the bastard’s custard with cyanide. It was a good plan. Except for the nagging feeling that I had forgotten something. I then realized it was just constipation. The surgeons removed the obstruction in just under 9 hours, they were very happy with their success, 18ft of bungie wasn’t quite enough to keep him from hitting the ground. So at the moment of impact, 12 nurses were on hand to clean up the mess. Fortune looked upon the misguided soul that day, and before his head split on the ground, mushrooms sprouted from the earth and cushioned the blow. That was the last time I ever saw her and her trusty sidekick. Oh the memories.


The little haystacks yawned, the summer breeze lilted across the fields and the hired hands were lazy in the summer sun. Luckily it was summer 1 on Arcturus 7 and the 2nd and 3rd suns barely peeked above the horizon. As I wondered how I could score some fine bud of my own because the punk-ass wouldn’t stop babysitting the blunt. The sparks flew, I was dazed and realized these are the times I live for, when the price is low and sweet. But do not be afraid of the little people. They really are harmless. Just don’t get your hands near their teeth. And woe be to he who lets his balls loose around them! “Holy fuck christ!” The dog shat out a statue of the baby jesus and minutes later the entire nativity scene. The baby jesus had been replaced with some toe cheese and they all rejoiced. They celebrated the coming of the jam filled donut. But the paisley skies would not be swayed. And the earth swallowed it all up then belched with much gas.


I can’t wait to start my vacation, it is so well deserved all I want, all I need is a breath of fresh free life from the outside, but I again feel the tremendous pressure of the blasted face of pretension that held nothingness up to the mirror of society. Surely - passion was at least as good an excuse as gas. If my ass is in your face -would you hold it against me? Trampoline sex is not the work of the devil like the media portrays it to be. Bikini swimsuits aren’t all that critical for a good summer tan, I think sunblock is seeming out of my pores - I told my dermatologist I wanted a nice healthy tan but he keeps insisting on injecting her with my throbbing manhood. But she was shy - and my advances were less likely to persuade her. So - I had to resort to prescription drugs. It was too close to going straight. Have to be a rebel no matter what! Cause or no cause that dumbass is always starting some kind of trouble with the neighborhood transvestites.





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