2 Stories (wb05_04) (adult)

I could never be a gardener, I have the blackest thumbs of anyone. Any plant, no matter how easy to maintain has little chance near me - I even killed a cactus. It rotted from the inside out in two months. It could otherwise be three months...or 4 even really! With those people, you never can tell. Once I ordered a plain jane 362 dash 11 with a half dozen other odds and ends. They quoted me on a 6 point 10 niner with an ETA of 7 weeks but actually took more like 17 weeks two days 19 hours 2 minutes - but you know I have really stopped keeping track I have turned over a new leaf, life is going to be different than the other monkeys. No bananas at all, only grains, and a strict exercise regiment. At the end of 6 months, add one banana per day, or 12 little ripe turnips. I’ll take the turnips for my share! Bananas go bad too quickly! 16 elderly people don’t disagree! I have a survey that says so! Bananas or turnips, who’s to say? Maybe I’ll know more at the banana-turnip debate, I was banged by both and still had a hard time determining which was the better screw because veggies give it all. No on competes like veggies. One hundred and ten percent effort every day. They know this is a team and everyone counts. Each job requires total commitment to dog breeding sophistication. 6 out of 10 groomers fail to understand the most basic differences in breeds. Turn nose color to the smell of your thoroughbreds feces, our class can teach you EVERYTHING, you need to know to be a first rate dog handler and monkey-puncher, for you must train with the best if you are to some day mount a bitch like that.

To impress the other recruits Scott unveiled his new tactic fingers of volcanic fire which burned his hair and eyebrows off. Now he had to paint a face on every day as well as wear a costume and be completely false. No matter what the one universal truth to count on is this: bacon & thin mints do NOT a tasty combination make. Maybe I’d keep walking down to Mexico and ponder this some more I started to panic this is not the way I started my week I am usually knee deep in shit and loving every minute and every minute the executioner waited was torture. It may have only been a few seconds actually but it seemed like a lifetime for the condemned to wait for death’s sister, the orgasm, or otherwise known as, “The Big O” And By that we’re talking Dyn-O-mite! Oh yeah - don’t lie and pretend you’re all shocked! You know as well as I do, forI do well and I do often, and that my friend amounts to a whole lotta ass stompin’ you see I am poetical as well as phonetical, but really just a spectacle. Does this entice you? Have I impressed you? I have many other skills and I know stuff. Who else can say that about it really? I mean, at the end of the day, the liquor store is going to close anyway, and no amount of crying on the front mat is going to help.