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3 Stories (wb09_02) (adult)

The captain of the expedition was a cold, ruthless soul. He cared not for the safety of the crew, but only that the mission was carried out successfully. Towards the final phase of the mission, the crew had grown restless . Fire shot from their noses and two instantaneously combusted. This is not uncommon. Toe cheese often pops up in the strangest places. My first encounter was not my last and the last was certainly the best, only time will pass, and time will cut you off, and time will say to you ‘Hey dickwad, get out of the way or else i’ll open a can of whup-ass on you.’ Then you’ll be sorry. You’ll be so sorry that your mother won’t even recognize you. What with her astigmatism and re-occuring stigmatas, she really rarely recognizes herself in the mirror..Mirror, mirror on the wall who’s the freak out in the hall? I don’t know but he stunk of gin and I might ask him for a sip to pass the time and think of all of mine. Wheee.

I awoke from the nightmare only to realize that the reality of my own life was even more frightening than an everclear enema, and that’s pretty damn frightening. Boo, pretty pearls stuck up my nose scares me to death, because I heard about the person who lost their nose that way. Green and hairy like a little spider was living in there. Gnort snort. Poppo whooo - I was in there passin’ the easy with sleazy Weezie. She could squeeze me til I went wild. I sure did love that gal.

The words on the page jumped out at me: Close the book, or your oysters will rot off or hers will rock off me amadeus rock me til i paint my legs green and slowly start my ascent. When this moment comes I’ll be glad I saved all that beta-carotine. Now my hands are hairy and orange. Boy di Boy. Pop and pee cause my bladder will burst if my thirst don’t stop till I get swollen and explode. And that’s just the beginning cause i also like to eat with my feet because they add a zip to all my favorite dishes.



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